header header
header about weblog portfolio services contact header
 

Monday, June 12, 2006

 

My Mood Now

 

It's a few more days to the golden day, and i'm not really having that mood now... u know, ppl sometimes get all excited, but somehow i dun really know how to put my mood. when ppl ask like "hey, ur bday coming, how u feeling? how u celebrate?" a honest reply is that "dun have the celebrating mood, how to celebrate?", but being the polite me, i have been going "haha, no la, not really celebrating..." i did give a few cheeky replies like "getting older than 21 liao, shud celebrate meh?" or "last year enuf liao! no more parties!"

hasn't been really having good sleeping patterns. a few days ago, i had lost all appetite, making myself stuck in hall and sleeping at weird irregular hours like 6am to 3pm and 8pm to 12midnight... a good fren told me i am having mild depression and that i shud seek help soon. i'm not sure if i disagree, heck, i tink i was like, yar! i shud! i hate this feeling! i hate getting all anti-social and no mood to work.

and so, these few dayz i've been trying to pull myself out into the sunlight. so far, met up wif sis, yh, and a bunch of other frens. it did help a bit, but whenever i get back home/hall, the feeling's always very bad, like suddenly lost something. what did i lose? i dun exactly know.

i will like to say it's like post-holiday-trip syndrome, but... dun noe, i really hope to go on a trip damn soon. i noticed i had been having good appetite everyday while i was overseas, even tho sometimes it got me very tiring and very very sleepy, but i will have to eat. it's not a conscious effort to eat, mind u, juz that, i wanted to eat. that's very weird of me, not something i will do back in singapore, and definitely not i am doing now.

i suddenly recalled one year back that two person i know past away, and the fact struck me so suddenly that i hadn't even been able to digest it. it's like... i dun noe... i still can't believe they were out of my lives for one year already? that long?

some ppl are so not helping me. i hate trivial chats nowadays, unless they're really entertaining and funny. like how england's three points in world cup was not their own effort in the first place at all, this was damn funny. others were bland and trivial and makes me hate these ppl even more... i guess it shows sometimes, and i wud be like not smiling while they were clocking up time with these conversations. it really irritates u really... like "wow, i totally enjoyed my shopping spree today! i bought this this this and that that that..." "i got this amazing t-shirt cos it's like got patterns i dun hav in my wardrobe?" "harlow, fashion is the world and the world revolves around fashion"... sheesh... i feel like turning myself into edna mode and smack them with my roll of newspaper (see The Incredibles).

at the end of all this, i really hope i can either shout out loud or scream. maybe i shud go for a cycling trip tmr.

*pointlessly-depressed*,
Yong

 

Comments:
haha~ yupz... will try, thanks!

zhengyong
 
Post a Comment

Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]





<< Home