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Tuesday, April 26, 2005
betrayal. a word i so terribly hate. top of my hate list, right on top of things like hypocrisy and selfishness.
interestingly, betrayal was the theme of the naruto episodes that i'm catching now (100 to 105). i so darn hate the character Morino Idate, he's a blardy whiner and big-talker, and in the end, he whined and cried and kept saying "so sorry, boss, i had to let u down" even when the noisy naruto kept screaming into his ears to wake him up. (sometimes i so blardy hate naruto for his screamings too.)
sometimes i really want to choose to only love myself. why not? u only trust yourself to do the things you wan to do, you can't betray yourself, you can't do harm to yourself.
yet. the firm idea of being a nice guy always pops in without fail.
i've only betrayed this idea only countable times in my life. one of them happened last friday, when i blared out "thanks to batch 55, esp Liao Zhenghan, for everything he had done". (see my first few blogs of my livejournal acc.)
i hate it, no one is scared of wut i'm capable of. and everyone is taking advantage of me. i hate it to be nice. i hate it to wait for ppl to realise who i am, and to accept me, and to even talk to me frankly right in my face. is it that difficult? is it that difficult to even say "heys, don't be so mean" or "heys, don't be evil" sometimes rather than saying things like "aiyo, that person is darn evil, let's not be friends with him".
nah, i'm not even talking abt the post "Liao Zhenghan" speech. something else happened. and i shant not talk abt it in details, or else weird selfish freaks will start complaining more about it behind my back.
i hate the feeling of "assuming". some things, i just know. and yet, i can't confirm, or rather i don't want to confirm. do u really think i don't intend to continue the friendship? yet, i dun even feel the trust of you coming up to me and sort things out. i hate u.
sick. tired. stressed. fatigued.
and that's wut became of me. finally, i would like to ask you. Are you happy?
if you are, i'm happy for u too. cheer out.
*peace-sign*,
Johnzzon
interestingly, betrayal was the theme of the naruto episodes that i'm catching now (100 to 105). i so darn hate the character Morino Idate, he's a blardy whiner and big-talker, and in the end, he whined and cried and kept saying "so sorry, boss, i had to let u down" even when the noisy naruto kept screaming into his ears to wake him up. (sometimes i so blardy hate naruto for his screamings too.)
sometimes i really want to choose to only love myself. why not? u only trust yourself to do the things you wan to do, you can't betray yourself, you can't do harm to yourself.
yet. the firm idea of being a nice guy always pops in without fail.
i've only betrayed this idea only countable times in my life. one of them happened last friday, when i blared out "thanks to batch 55, esp Liao Zhenghan, for everything he had done". (see my first few blogs of my livejournal acc.)
i hate it, no one is scared of wut i'm capable of. and everyone is taking advantage of me. i hate it to be nice. i hate it to wait for ppl to realise who i am, and to accept me, and to even talk to me frankly right in my face. is it that difficult? is it that difficult to even say "heys, don't be so mean" or "heys, don't be evil" sometimes rather than saying things like "aiyo, that person is darn evil, let's not be friends with him".
nah, i'm not even talking abt the post "Liao Zhenghan" speech. something else happened. and i shant not talk abt it in details, or else weird selfish freaks will start complaining more about it behind my back.
i hate the feeling of "assuming". some things, i just know. and yet, i can't confirm, or rather i don't want to confirm. do u really think i don't intend to continue the friendship? yet, i dun even feel the trust of you coming up to me and sort things out. i hate u.
sick. tired. stressed. fatigued.
and that's wut became of me. finally, i would like to ask you. Are you happy?
if you are, i'm happy for u too. cheer out.
*peace-sign*,
Johnzzon
Monday, April 25, 2005
My blog, and it shall be the way it is.
X|X's preparing to blog!
wow~ quick! someone just hav to buy 4D, tink the whole of singapore will strike 4D and win. ie, every singaporean will buy the same 23 numbers and all 23 numbers appear in our local night newspapers lianhewanbao and xinminribao.
tink there's a sudden acknowledgement of blogging recently, thanks to the queen of blogs Xiaxue. *ops* no no!! no offend to xiaxue, just find it quite irritating how this fren of mine keeps popping your chio name into our conversation every now and then, irritating me sometimes. haha!
anyway, yes, X|X is preparing to blog. and his first (and most probably last too) shall be about the queen of blogs. and the moral of his only blog entry? "IF YOU CAN'T BLOG AS WELL AS XIA XUE, DON'T BLOG AT ALL!". great~ suddenly the blog world has a law. nah nah, X|X, i know you're reading this, i'm not scolding u. haha~
well, if u're wondering why recently i hadn't been really doing much photo uploading, because i hadnt got my new copy of Photoshop yet. shall be waiting for Adobe to release Creative Suite 2. muahaha~
shucks, suddenly i had an obligation to remain politically correct and entertaining in this blog. Gosh~ What pretentious act? heck, wut if suddenly my blog ends up on lianhe? *GASP* nah, no one will bother abt this blog, at least if i continue to write the way i write now! haha~
a mixture of photo blogs, bo-liao-and-pretentiously-poetic blogs, daily ranting blogs. this is my blog, and it's the space i belong to. *smilez*
haiz, it's monday, and i'm sick. now that's what i call monday blues.
*shit*,
Johnzzon
ps, i want my photoshop CS2 to do more evil stuff to X|X's photos. justbrat! i'm coming to join u! muahaha~
wow~ quick! someone just hav to buy 4D, tink the whole of singapore will strike 4D and win. ie, every singaporean will buy the same 23 numbers and all 23 numbers appear in our local night newspapers lianhewanbao and xinminribao.
tink there's a sudden acknowledgement of blogging recently, thanks to the queen of blogs Xiaxue. *ops* no no!! no offend to xiaxue, just find it quite irritating how this fren of mine keeps popping your chio name into our conversation every now and then, irritating me sometimes. haha!
anyway, yes, X|X is preparing to blog. and his first (and most probably last too) shall be about the queen of blogs. and the moral of his only blog entry? "IF YOU CAN'T BLOG AS WELL AS XIA XUE, DON'T BLOG AT ALL!". great~ suddenly the blog world has a law. nah nah, X|X, i know you're reading this, i'm not scolding u. haha~
well, if u're wondering why recently i hadn't been really doing much photo uploading, because i hadnt got my new copy of Photoshop yet. shall be waiting for Adobe to release Creative Suite 2. muahaha~
shucks, suddenly i had an obligation to remain politically correct and entertaining in this blog. Gosh~ What pretentious act? heck, wut if suddenly my blog ends up on lianhe? *GASP* nah, no one will bother abt this blog, at least if i continue to write the way i write now! haha~
a mixture of photo blogs, bo-liao-and-pretentiously-poetic blogs, daily ranting blogs. this is my blog, and it's the space i belong to. *smilez*
haiz, it's monday, and i'm sick. now that's what i call monday blues.
*shit*,
Johnzzon
ps, i want my photoshop CS2 to do more evil stuff to X|X's photos. justbrat! i'm coming to join u! muahaha~
Sunday, April 17, 2005
The Farewell Post
the feeling of leaving hadn't been sinking in yet. and i'm talking about both leaving SAF Band and leaving Singapore for Malaysia tonight.
i guess there are things i felt beautiful and nice about the places i'm leaving. the friendships, the sound, the people. leaving the place to anticipate what i had not been in contact with is scary, very scary in fact.
i'm going back to Malaysia this time to visit my relatives before i never get a chance to do so in the next 4 years of my life. the decision was made rather abruptly and so i still did not have the mood to really tink of it yet.
ppl tell me to look on the bright side of it. leaving the place full of traffic noise, full of fake buildings, basically leaving a place without an identity. well, you could put it that way. but of course i'm already attached to singapore and gotten use to everything that i feel a bit weird to leave this place to enjoy another.
seriously, am i thinking so much abt this trip. of cos not.
i guess the clever blogders you all are understand what i'm trying to say.
*i'm-leaving-on-a-coach-bus*,
Johnzzon
ps, i did take the picture in my previous blog entry myself.
i guess there are things i felt beautiful and nice about the places i'm leaving. the friendships, the sound, the people. leaving the place to anticipate what i had not been in contact with is scary, very scary in fact.
i'm going back to Malaysia this time to visit my relatives before i never get a chance to do so in the next 4 years of my life. the decision was made rather abruptly and so i still did not have the mood to really tink of it yet.
ppl tell me to look on the bright side of it. leaving the place full of traffic noise, full of fake buildings, basically leaving a place without an identity. well, you could put it that way. but of course i'm already attached to singapore and gotten use to everything that i feel a bit weird to leave this place to enjoy another.
seriously, am i thinking so much abt this trip. of cos not.
i guess the clever blogders you all are understand what i'm trying to say.
*i'm-leaving-on-a-coach-bus*,
Johnzzon
ps, i did take the picture in my previous blog entry myself.
A Picture With A Song
 An Evening View of Boat Quay  | The Legend as in F.I.R.'s album Long Ago there was a bird who sang but just once in her life From the moment she left the nest She searched the longest leaf for a thorn tree Never resting until she found one Then she began to sing more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth But carry away in the rapturous honor song She impaled herself on the longest sharpest thorn As she was dying she rose above her own agony Ro out-sing even the lark and the nightingale The thorn bird traded her life for that one song and The whole world was captured To listen And God in His heaven smiles As her very best was brought out only of the cost of great pain Driven by the thorn with no fear for her death to come But when we push the thorn into our breast We know We understand And still we choose the pain of the thorn |
Thursday, April 14, 2005
Heck~ I should be getting busy~
yoz... heck, it's raining heavily outside and i just feel like going to sleep. had a tiring two days tho, running to and fro from places to places.
~ Wednesday 13/04/2005 ~
yesterday went out wif kenneth, qi and jingyi, had lunch at Ding Tai Feng. received an phone call from weiji to tell me a dreaded news. interesting, i heck-cared it, 'cause i really don't want to spoil my plans. but my mood was quite bad la after that. luckily qi was around to cheer things up! hehe. went ktv after that, discovered the cough was really doing something to my voice. argh~
went sis place after that to download my bro-in-law's naruto episodes. muahaha~ now i have naruto episode 1 to 129 now! BUT, i must regurgitate, i am NOT A fan of naruto. *angelic ring around my head*
~ Thursday 14/04/2005 ~
just could not get myself up early in the morning, terrible. had been sleeping till quite late in the morning recently.
went down to HC to meet wensen to talk abt his play. how happy i was to learn that things were still the same, bookshop's still there, all the canteen stall's still there, and my favourite lemon tea's still there too! haha~ when yunying saw my HOT lemon tea, she had to exclaim out "wa, such hot weather still drink hot drink ah?" haha~ i merely smiled.
chatted wif mdm siew ah eng, she's still her same old self, or perhaps more on the "jian4 wang4" side now. haiz. guess we can't stop time and ourselves from growing old. missed the days in HC, totally.
went down to raffles place, hoping to look for faz, but he trotted out of his working place before i could call out for him (only to find he never returned for the next half an hour). heck~ i munched on my ROTIBOY roti and made my way down to chinatown after that. bought AH SANG's Ji Mo Zai Chang Ge. not impressive. sighz.
at home now, after a terribly long bus ride. *tired* have to go back to camp early tomolo. *zzz*
hoping money wud come in soon with two projects on hand. love it when i get to do the things i like and get paid at the same time. wow~!
*money,money,money,very funny*,
Johnzzon
yesterday went out wif kenneth, qi and jingyi, had lunch at Ding Tai Feng. received an phone call from weiji to tell me a dreaded news. interesting, i heck-cared it, 'cause i really don't want to spoil my plans. but my mood was quite bad la after that. luckily qi was around to cheer things up! hehe. went ktv after that, discovered the cough was really doing something to my voice. argh~
went sis place after that to download my bro-in-law's naruto episodes. muahaha~ now i have naruto episode 1 to 129 now! BUT, i must regurgitate, i am NOT A fan of naruto. *angelic ring around my head*
just could not get myself up early in the morning, terrible. had been sleeping till quite late in the morning recently.
went down to HC to meet wensen to talk abt his play. how happy i was to learn that things were still the same, bookshop's still there, all the canteen stall's still there, and my favourite lemon tea's still there too! haha~ when yunying saw my HOT lemon tea, she had to exclaim out "wa, such hot weather still drink hot drink ah?" haha~ i merely smiled.
chatted wif mdm siew ah eng, she's still her same old self, or perhaps more on the "jian4 wang4" side now. haiz. guess we can't stop time and ourselves from growing old. missed the days in HC, totally.
went down to raffles place, hoping to look for faz, but he trotted out of his working place before i could call out for him (only to find he never returned for the next half an hour). heck~ i munched on my ROTIBOY roti and made my way down to chinatown after that. bought AH SANG's Ji Mo Zai Chang Ge. not impressive. sighz.
at home now, after a terribly long bus ride. *tired* have to go back to camp early tomolo. *zzz*
hoping money wud come in soon with two projects on hand. love it when i get to do the things i like and get paid at the same time. wow~!
*money,money,money,very funny*,
Johnzzon
Monday, April 11, 2005
Photos from Kok Wee's 21st Birthday Party
Kok Wee's 21st Birthday's Party
CD Recommendation: FIR - No Limitations
It's interesting that I am getting another music album just based on the name of the artiste. This time round it's FIR, a recent pop group that emerged out of fame due to their contribution of song "Lydia" to a taiwan idol tv series "Dou Yu".
Normally the second album of most artiste would be a risky one, betting on the fame and success of the first album. no doubt this second album of FIR will sell, but interestingly, i feel it will secure their position in the chinese pop arena, at least for the next 3 years. by that, i mean this album is actually good.
some of the tracks resemble tracks from the previous album, especially the hit tracks, but they have stronger melodies. and the arrangement of the music are more towards the ethnic side, yet it feels more powerful and emotional, perhaps due to the collaboration of england musicians (London Philharmonic Orchestration, London Session Orchestration, Mike Taylor on the tin whistle and Richard White on the bagpipes). all in all, the album feels true to the image of FIR, yet building on the quality of their music.
"Limitations" is not FIR at its limit, but it definitely shows us that FIR can push themselves further. No doubt a standout from recent chinese pop albums that feature mere tear-shedding and cliche love songs (think Lee Shen-jie and Shi Wen-bin).
4 stars out of 5
Normally the second album of most artiste would be a risky one, betting on the fame and success of the first album. no doubt this second album of FIR will sell, but interestingly, i feel it will secure their position in the chinese pop arena, at least for the next 3 years. by that, i mean this album is actually good.
some of the tracks resemble tracks from the previous album, especially the hit tracks, but they have stronger melodies. and the arrangement of the music are more towards the ethnic side, yet it feels more powerful and emotional, perhaps due to the collaboration of england musicians (London Philharmonic Orchestration, London Session Orchestration, Mike Taylor on the tin whistle and Richard White on the bagpipes). all in all, the album feels true to the image of FIR, yet building on the quality of their music.
"Limitations" is not FIR at its limit, but it definitely shows us that FIR can push themselves further. No doubt a standout from recent chinese pop albums that feature mere tear-shedding and cliche love songs (think Lee Shen-jie and Shi Wen-bin).
4 stars out of 5
Johnzzon
Days of My New Life
Eight days hav passed since my last day wearing SAF uniforms. hmm~ wut hav i accomplished and done? absolutely nothin'. yup~ and i'm so proud of it.... er. *sweat drop* actually not really.
i'm oredi developing headaches from sleeping too much.
*erhmm*
~ Monday 4th Apr ~
slept until quite late i remembered. decided to go down to the esplanade to find scores to photocopy, so i dilidalied and took my own sweet time, finally reaching esplanade at around 3something (when i planned to reach by 1pm).
it soon started pouring and the air-con was darn cold. didn't stay long, and left the place. had a simple dinner and took a bus back home.
~ Tuesday 5th Apr ~
did exactly the same thing as monday, made my way down to esplanade and everything. it started drizzling when i finally did my stuff, so i decided to leave the freezing place. decided to go to raffles place and take a look at fazil's new workplace, only to discover he wasn't gonna work there until 11apr. darn~
ate rotiboy. WOW~ darn nice~
~ Wednesday 6th Apr ~
decided not to go down to esplanade anymore. so i slacked my way at home, working on an assignment. was a bit lazy tho, so didn't really complete much.
wenjing jio-ed me to go back to camp to stay in, and to pass her my "Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy". in the end, went back and slept pretty early.
~ Thursday 7th Apr ~
left camp pretty early in the morning, even before band A fell in. (i left at 8am). came back home and continued my beauty sleep.
work up only at around 12. lazed around the house, surfing the net to kill time, tried to work on the midi of the new version of Anytime. sounds pretty weird to me actually.
after dinner, i watched Naruto all thru the night. u can really tell i've been really bored. at least my mum did and came to tell me off. haha~
~ Friday 8th Apr ~
woke up quite early at 10am because of kokwee's call to ask me to help him buy and bring stuff to his party. continued watching Naruto and got all agitated by the slow pace of the show. decided to leave my house for Kok Wee's party (at Aloha Loyang) at 4pm.
had a great night, chatting wif lotsa old frens like zhuanquan, clement, aaron, jiehao, vernon, zhiyong, jianming and zheyi. quite surprised that we're still all so sillily chatty and gigglish. haha~
broke my promise that night. shucks.
~ Saturday 9th Apr ~
slept over at kokwee's chalet. tidied up his place when i woke up at around 9plus (or was it 10?). came home. slept again. woke up, rushed down to siglap for AI prac. darn tired. Zzz...
~ Sunday 10th Apr ~
managed to wake up to go down to KS practice. wa~ i was the most early one, even tho i reached only 5 mins before 9. in the end the prac started at around 10:30. heck. anyway, had a good chat wif lawrence. seriously considering my career paths.
went down to sim lim for some accessory shopping. bought myself cartridges and a system fan. yesh~ finally got them after much hesitation. came back to bp plaza went to the sony ericsson shop to get my batt changed and to buy some accessories too... in the end spent $150 in a day. shucks~
watched "Spanglish" at night with kokwee and yanhui. quite enjoyable. powerhouse acting, nice script, nice plot development, altho a bit long a show. haha~ Ben Stiller was good in a drama role.
~ Monday 11th Apr ~
supposed to go swimming and tanning wif chad. wa~ terrible. the weather jus never was on my side. it started a tornado over here at bukit panjang and my curtains got sucked out of the window, making me panic for a few seconds there. in the end, wasted all my time at home. watched a few episodes of naruto, surfed the net, watched "Tales of the Three Kingdom" which my dad recorded. (yesh, i was pretty desperate)
gonna go down to bp plaza later. jus to get myself out of the house.
I NEED FRESH AIR~!
*gasp-gasp-gasp*,
Johnzzon
i'm oredi developing headaches from sleeping too much.
*erhmm*
slept until quite late i remembered. decided to go down to the esplanade to find scores to photocopy, so i dilidalied and took my own sweet time, finally reaching esplanade at around 3something (when i planned to reach by 1pm).
it soon started pouring and the air-con was darn cold. didn't stay long, and left the place. had a simple dinner and took a bus back home.
did exactly the same thing as monday, made my way down to esplanade and everything. it started drizzling when i finally did my stuff, so i decided to leave the freezing place. decided to go to raffles place and take a look at fazil's new workplace, only to discover he wasn't gonna work there until 11apr. darn~
ate rotiboy. WOW~ darn nice~
decided not to go down to esplanade anymore. so i slacked my way at home, working on an assignment. was a bit lazy tho, so didn't really complete much.
wenjing jio-ed me to go back to camp to stay in, and to pass her my "Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy". in the end, went back and slept pretty early.
left camp pretty early in the morning, even before band A fell in. (i left at 8am). came back home and continued my beauty sleep.
work up only at around 12. lazed around the house, surfing the net to kill time, tried to work on the midi of the new version of Anytime. sounds pretty weird to me actually.
after dinner, i watched Naruto all thru the night. u can really tell i've been really bored. at least my mum did and came to tell me off. haha~
woke up quite early at 10am because of kokwee's call to ask me to help him buy and bring stuff to his party. continued watching Naruto and got all agitated by the slow pace of the show. decided to leave my house for Kok Wee's party (at Aloha Loyang) at 4pm.
had a great night, chatting wif lotsa old frens like zhuanquan, clement, aaron, jiehao, vernon, zhiyong, jianming and zheyi. quite surprised that we're still all so sillily chatty and gigglish. haha~
broke my promise that night. shucks.
slept over at kokwee's chalet. tidied up his place when i woke up at around 9plus (or was it 10?). came home. slept again. woke up, rushed down to siglap for AI prac. darn tired. Zzz...
managed to wake up to go down to KS practice. wa~ i was the most early one, even tho i reached only 5 mins before 9. in the end the prac started at around 10:30. heck. anyway, had a good chat wif lawrence. seriously considering my career paths.
went down to sim lim for some accessory shopping. bought myself cartridges and a system fan. yesh~ finally got them after much hesitation. came back to bp plaza went to the sony ericsson shop to get my batt changed and to buy some accessories too... in the end spent $150 in a day. shucks~
watched "Spanglish" at night with kokwee and yanhui. quite enjoyable. powerhouse acting, nice script, nice plot development, altho a bit long a show. haha~ Ben Stiller was good in a drama role.
supposed to go swimming and tanning wif chad. wa~ terrible. the weather jus never was on my side. it started a tornado over here at bukit panjang and my curtains got sucked out of the window, making me panic for a few seconds there. in the end, wasted all my time at home. watched a few episodes of naruto, surfed the net, watched "Tales of the Three Kingdom" which my dad recorded. (yesh, i was pretty desperate)
gonna go down to bp plaza later. jus to get myself out of the house.
I NEED FRESH AIR~!
*gasp-gasp-gasp*,
Johnzzon
Wednesday, April 06, 2005
Sentosa Outing 4th April 2005
Monday, April 04, 2005
Sentosa, wutever...
Time: 1210hrs
Venue: Harbourfront Mall MacDonalds
Mood: *yawnz*
it's raining, "tormentingly" raining. sighz, a promise of sunny beach and warm sand is broken. urgh~ dun know if we wud settle for the contingency plan, ie, go kel c's house. anyway, feel pretty bored now, waiting for ppl to turn up (*tink accusingly of junyu*), so i started feeling snappy, and started taking lots of weird pretentiously artistic photos. den i happily saw this free internet kiosk and came to enjoy the luxury of surfing internet in malls.
riiight.
actually i'm just bored.
[will update later in the day.]
*sipping my tea*,
Johnzon
Venue: Harbourfront Mall MacDonalds
Mood: *yawnz*
it's raining, "tormentingly" raining. sighz, a promise of sunny beach and warm sand is broken. urgh~ dun know if we wud settle for the contingency plan, ie, go kel c's house. anyway, feel pretty bored now, waiting for ppl to turn up (*tink accusingly of junyu*), so i started feeling snappy, and started taking lots of weird pretentiously artistic photos. den i happily saw this free internet kiosk and came to enjoy the luxury of surfing internet in malls.
riiight.
actually i'm just bored.
[will update later in the day.]
*sipping my tea*,
Johnzon
