The title of this entry is supposed to sound something like "life after death", but heck, this is the best i could do at the moment.

I'm currently trying to complete writing a set of lyrics, but i guessed the fact that i havent been writing for like 8 months is really having an effect on me now. nothing comes out of my mind, and my pencil will hover over my notebook for damn long a period of time before giving up.

went out for a walk to destress myself and hoping to find inspiration. it's sort of working, but am stuck once again.

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so, anyways, it's been a while since i leave some thoughts in this pensieve of mine. shall dig some time out.

one semester gone, and how do i feel? well, i must say i feel guilty about enjoying this life, this studying life. it used to be "heck, why am i studying this for? i dun wan to study! argh!", but the recent exam has shown myself that i'm quite susceptible to studying life actually, as long as i see where exactly i'm heading, and be very happy about my own choice.

had a long chat with a female friend of mine through the nite the other day (jus before my cs108 exam), and met up recently with Mr So Swee Hock too yesterday. was discussing with them about school life and life goals, and am quite surprised at how cheerful i am towards studying life. i never used to be like that. and i concluded that it's because i made this choice of choosing where i wanna go fully 100% all by myself. no one to alter my choice, no one to change my opinion. even towards the end when i was provided with another alternative of going to SADM, i still made the choice of coming to SCI. and since i always made myself to think "make the correct choice and never regret", i'm fully enjoying myself now, knowing where i'm heading in 4 years time.

tho i must say, it's pretty tough in here. difficult, but not stressful. i must regurgitate that this is my opinion la. i mean like we have lots of projects and everything, and i wouldn't really say they're all stressful and everything, just that they're all time-consuming. the guilt that arises from the possibility of dragging group-mates down motivates to work hard. perhaps that's the difficult part ba, working with EQ and everything.

exams? er... exams were ok for me. perhaps because i've got a very low expectations for my results. never did well in language papers back in pri, sec AND jc times, dun tink i'll ever do well in them. when i got my B for my journalism term paper, i actually did go and buy 4D, too bad did strike.

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i'm having my "pms"... male ver. always come when i have a brain block. happens during my jc exams, and during times when i write lyrics. stay away from me, especially in the nites.

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i've discovered why there's this weird feeling i get when i read Xiaxue's blog. there are like two gangs of people, one worshipping her ground on which she blogs on and the other who detest her until they paste her poster on their doors to chase away ghosts. and i dun noe which one to belong to. sometimes it's painful to read her blogs, and other times, pretty fun and carefree.

it's those painful moments, that start making me hate her too. and recently i found out why. Can she stop complaining abt the world hating her? hullo! celebrity blog queen! u know u're famous, and famous ppl will definitely hav extreme groups of people, fans and hates. even fann wong has hates (i'm one of them). so, there. face the fact. stop whining.

i so blardy hate to see her whine? especially when i was first exposed to her blog entries, i was like "hey, there's always us, the ppl who frequent ur blog and like ur entries". but more and more of those entries make this group of fans start to feel like she's saying we're not speaking up for her and that we're not showing our support. BLAH! and that's how i feel recently.

wa, EVERY blardy main entry has a complimentary entry of her scolding the ppl commenting on that entry. Toilet entry led to 2 entries of vulgarities. KL entry led to 2. even the recent Harry Potter review entry has one scolding ppl for the bad comments they post. STOP IT! blardy hell... u've made a hate out of me with ur own entries.

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chatted wif joric jus now, somehow feel better. dun noe why he always manages to cheer me up. haha~ thanks pal. and u must really really take care kay? if u need any help, feel free to come to me. ;)

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my december nites are a goner. think i better post my schedule up here so that i can find time to meet up with my old pals. i need to rejuvenate and get away from uni life once in a while.

this two weeks had been relatively good, with all the activities only occupying half my free time, i can still spend time with my family. but i still hate blardy hospital trips. i really dun like them. it reminds me of the grave fact that something bad can happen anytime. :(

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mmm... this entry isn't an accurate portrayal of my life for the past few months. juz being cranky. heck, i need my stick.

*crrrr-anky*,
Johnzzon

This part is supposed to be continued after the 4D part, before the "pms" chunk, left out purposefully after reading some of my frens' blogs, feeling that it may become too insensitive. if you're reading this, really really be mindful that i'm not talking abt u!
but it's quite irritating when people around me ramble on about how studying sucks, how this subject is totally useless and everything. i mean like, hullo~, 6 years of primary sch, 4 years of sec sch, and 2 years of jc, and u're still not used to the fact that the education system is making u study things that can be useless in ur future life? and since you cant change it, shut the fuck up and stop whining and complaining. you made the choice of coming here, and so stop ruining the rest of our moods with your fucking whining attitude. u dun like wut u study? change course. of cos, u'll be seen as a loser cos, duh, u've wasted 1 year of ur uni life on a stupid choice, and who made that stupid choice? u urself. but u better change course anyway la, or all the constant complaining will let ppl see through u and we'll say u're the ultimate loser, cos u're jus gonna waste 4 years of ur life. hullo~ u made that choice, u be responsible abt it, not our poor ears that we could not switch off when u start ur rambling.