This post was planned quite long ago, even before i did the planning for my birthday party. i was thinking of scanning all my old photographs and putting them on the web. this blog is supposed to be about my life, isn't it? haha~ then, it would feel weird to leave out the first 18 years, but then, it seems to be inappropriate to post such a post anytime in the year. so i decided to do so on my 21st birthday. a bit late, but nevertheless, here it is.

anyway, WARNING this is gonna be a terribly long post.
Try clicking on the pictures for a larger version.

The Life Of A Newly-Turned 21-er

Well, it all started on a faithful early morning on 15th June 1984. it was around 2am when the world heard my first cry. heard from my mum that it was a much more painful experience, and that i was born in quite an unnatural manner, with my legs out i heard. i just know that i was a difficult kid from young. haha~ i almost didn't survived, and even though i was, i was born with jaundice and everything, and i was kept in a box and kept under supervision for at least 1 month. and then, after that, everything was well, and i was guaranteed a normal place in the world, with no handicap or whatsoever. (the army medical exam further proved the point, giving me a PES B status. shit.)

anyway, i left the hospital in my mother's arms and was welcomed into a cosy nice flat in west coast. my first home. there i stayed for the first 5 years of my life, having fun sitting at the locked gate facing my neighbour (who was a girl around my age too) and we're showing our toys to each other (yes, behind locked gates). i remembered i liked to go to the cassette shop beside the kopitiam at the nearby market and always manage to saka my father to buy me cassettes of kid songs. besides that, i also loved to pester the auntie selling newspaper at the hawker centre. i was a trouble maker, a lovable one at least. and *gasp* my nickname was hamburger, cos my sis' classmates always felt hungry after looking at me (apparently i was very fat and chubby and resembled a hamburger).

at the age of 5, i moved to bukit panjang where i stayed until now. it was quite exciting at that time, moving house, and bothering my parents to make sure they bring each and every of my belongs (mostly toys), especially my tricycle (as shown in picture above). i entered a kindergarden and was quite a snobbish show-off, always getting the teacher to give me a chance to sing in front of the whole class a song i learned from the cassettes i listen to. shucks, it's embarrassing remembering the pass.

at that time, i always liked to disturb my sis, always comparing what my sis did to what i did, always hoping i had her freedom (she was in primary 5 and 6 then). those were the days when my sis and i were loggerheads, and two of us always quarrel. always. and my mum always had to resort to family violence (cane) to keep me hush, but instead, the whole episode will always end with me wailing in tears and my sis locking herself up in her room.

the last thing i did in kindergarden was this graduation ceremony and my class was asked to perform an item. i was to be the narrator of the play with two of my best friends then (fan yan & fan hong) acting in it. i could not remember if i volunteered or was assigned the narrator role, but i felt like it was the former. *blush* yesh, i was such a show-off.



i tink my pri sch days were quite weird ones. it was a period of time when my character and my habits were formed. these distinct features in me were shown towards the end of my pri sch days. guess my pri sch days were the times when i was being molded into who i am now.

i liked the letters of the classes i go into. Pri 1H, 2I, 3J, 4J, 5J, 6J. HIJJJJ. cute hor? haha~ i used to tell most of my friends in sec sch how special i found this trivial fact to be. and interestingly, the last number of the year coincides with the primary level i studied in, like 1991 -> pri 1, 1992 -> pri 2, etc.


Interestingly, most of my pals in pri sch were my classmates for at least more than 2 years. in fact, huimin, henry, shengyong were ppl that were there in my life ever since my pri 2 days. haha~

i hated two of my teachers, a male chinese teacher when i was in pri 2, and mrs goh, my form teacher for pri 4. both of them reprimanded me for accusing me of doing something wrong when i didn't. *erhmm* er... there was once when we hung up our paper skeletons (made from the health education textbooks) up on strings across the classroom. and halfway thru a mrs goh lesson, one of the paper skeletons dropped on me and gave me a shock. instead of comforting my shocked soul, dear mrs goh actually punished me by standing up. i was so fumed and frustrated that i shouted back, demanding my innocence in the manner. and she blardy said, "You expect me to believe that paper skeletons are alive and can drop by themselves right?" blardy b*tch, there's such thing as wind you know. no no~ i didn't scold that then, i don't even know the existence of the word "b*tch* (even by it's real meaning). but i did talk back, and for that, i was rewarded with a consoling self-applauding stand-on-chair punishment. haiz. i hated her, and i still do.

but there were so many others that i respected and loved. mrs rosie au (pri 1), mrs soh (pri 2), mrs poh (pri 3), mrs ravi (pri 5), ms swee (pri 6), mdm wong (chinese & music teacher) and mdm ngeow (chinese & music teacher). mrs poh was the teacher that brought our class to a lot of places for excursions, to pasir ris beach, to bukit timah hill. haha~ she brought us to bukit timah hill and we got lost. in the end we emerged out of no where along upper bukit timah road and had to walk all the way back to school. but it was fun~ totally.

then, there's mdm ngeow. she didn't just teach us for one year. she was there with us from pri 3 i tink, if i'm not wrong. i can't remember. anyway, she's the closest teacher to all of us, and yet the fiercest. the many zhi1 shi4 bao4 she made us do, the many remedials we've had, the screamings, the flinging of exercise books. haha~ they were all still fresh in my mind. she did taught us a lot of stuff, and truely teached us with a passion for the language. it was her that my grasp in the language was better than quite a number of ppl in my sec sch class (further explained below). till now, i still respect her, and will call her every Teacher's Day to sing "Xian4 Gei2 Ni3 De Hua1" to her.

haha, how can we ever forget Mrs Ravi too, the well-known MOST FIERCEST TEACHER in Bukit Panjang Pri. my class heard the rumour that she's taking our class on the first day of our primary 5 year, and we were all terrified. she had the screeching and powerful voice that wud make every ah beng in our sch pee in their pants. yet, she has the heart of gold and soul so full of care and kindness. forget her, i never will.

then there's ms swee, sweet and fun-loving ms swee whose smile always brightened up our days (esp after Mdm Ngeow's scoldings). that's our last year in BPPS and she brought a lot of joy to the class. after PSLE, there was a long break before the end of the year, and she brought us to many places for excursions and we wud hav fun, forgetting abt the terrifying exams we had that wud determined our future. sentosa, singapore museum... well, i cant remember the places we'd visited, but i just remembered we made a lot of noises on the many bus trips we've had.



and then, we've splitted up, moving on to new places, going on with our individual lives. yet, sometimes, the memories of those days still bind us together, even until today.



from a 5 min walk to sch, it became a 20-min bus ride. i went to the chinese high school, the school i looked forward to studying after all i heard abt my sis talking abt it (she was from nanyang girls). the place sounded fun, with all the crap jokes and fun activities. and i loved travelling on buses, at that time. bus rides at that time, symbolise growing up, having a transitlink card, and going on buses all by myself. little did i know i wud dread it in times to come.

i got into a computer class in sec 1, and i was alone. none of my former pri sch classmates were in my new class, and for the first time in my life, i had to learn to warm up to ppl. still i had not shaken off the habit of showing-off, and the power of being high profile still tempted me. in no time, i was appointed the stupid monitor role and was shouting at my classmates most of the time, trying to be mr nice guy to the teachers. haha~ it all seemed so laughable now.

yup, i was correct to say chinese high was full of activities, from every saturday's morning jog (a very long jog up and down the hilly slopes of the chinese high mountain) to the many celebrations we had. i shud even mention the many half-days and full-days 'off' we had for every winnings the school got (thanks to those who had gotten their PSC scholarships and those who helped win the gold medals in inter-school games).

i joined the military band which was (at that time) quite well-known for their displays and stuff. tot i wud be having fun there, performing in front of so many ppl (remember my show-off-ness?). i used to be a trumpet player in pri sch, but the band disbanded when i was pri 4, so i didn't touch the instrument for two years, so i opted for a big and easier instrument called euphonium. (dooh~) there i made new friends, quite a number became my very good friends. kokwee, yanhui, hongguan. they're still a big part of my life now, and i really really appreciated the friendship we'd had and will have.



the band was very fun, under david glosz, and we had to chance to other parts of the world like Australia and America. Perth, Los Angeles, San Francisco, Hawaii, these places were explored at the young age of 15 and 16. it was totally enjoyable to be travelling to these places with good friends and going to these places many adults still yearn to go.


back in singapore, we also enjoyed going to weird places to perform. Suntec City Fountain (i heard we were the first sec sch band to perform there!), Toa Payoh Central, Istana, etc. fragments of the performances still are fresh in my mind, like Junyu dropping his stand during his solo performance at istana. haha~

my sec 3 and 4 years were in a mess, perhaps due to the many commitments and responsibilities i'd chosen to take up. ms mok was right, i am a kid who just doesn't know how to say "no" to things. i was asked to be the treasurer of the student council, and *poof* i was in the student council with lots of ppl stabbing me. i was asked to maintain websites for quite a number of teachers, and *poof* i became one of the many website designers for the school teachers. i was asked to compose a theme song for the school IDEAS event, and *poof* i did it, and the stupid technical ppl didn't switch on the audio during the presentation and my 3 months worth of hardwork was wasted.


class was horrible with weird and irresponsible ppl. because i was more chinese-speaking, i felt out of place with the class cos haf the class was taking English Lit and their english were like "shee shee shor shor" (very powerfully accented, not powerful, mind u). but there were a number of responsible icons that became my good frens, Malvin, Soon Keck, Edmund, Ka Leung, Keith, Zhiquan, Songyu. these were the ppl that were my frens in class, who knew the meaning of being responsible to oneself and not take advantage of those around one. then there were the teachers, Mrs Nancy Tay, Ms Mok, the fierce teachers that the class hated (noticed they were not feared). they reprimanded me and taught me the meaning of being humble and courteous.

well, on the overall, i didn't quite enjoy my actual class life, cos of some ppl who tot they were very clever (to not do homework and copy others WITHOUT THANKING) and tink that they had the rights to change things (my class actually sent a petition to change my form teacher becos she's too crappy and we got a worse and fiercer form teacher, ms mok).

but, i always look forward to my band times, when i wud jus hav fun making music (oh my gawd, the two cliche words) and bitching abt ppl. (with my section mate and buddies. no prices for guessing who.) and before i knew it, it was end of my 4 years there studying on the hill.



actually for my four years in chinese high, i wanted to go RJC, cos that's where all my euphonium seniors went. and i loved my band life. so RJC was the place for me to go. so prestigous, so high-class. den i found out abt the chinese course in HCJC. ok, i was starting to change my mind. and when the time came, HCJC was first on my list, followed by TJC.

went to hcjc in the end, gotten into the whackiest and most fun class, 01S21, the weird class of HCJC consisting of students studying three odd combis. Double Maths, Physics, Econs; Double Maths, Physics, Higher Chinese; Double Maths, Econs, Higher Chinese. we're all weird ppl who knew the meaning of thinking outside the box and working hard playing hard by instinct.

orientation was damn fun with my class, and we were all damn enthu abt activities, mass dances, performances, class flag, everything. and my senior class was damn supportive. i learned something from there, no matter how crappy the games there can be, as long as u're in the correct company, u're bound to hav fun. we sang, danced, ate bananas (peiling), sang and danced somemore. oh my goodness, by the end of the orientation camp we knew each other like forever.

then, the school wanted to split our class up, 2 weeks after the start of school. the reason? it was difficult to plan our class' timetable because of the odd-combis. it was terrible. we were having a class outing at Orchard Road, enjoying our bubble tea, when the school discipline mistress called up one of us and had us rushing back to school. we sat in the school office and argued our way thru and decided to help the DM plan our timetable. luckily it worked out, and we became a real class with a true spirit.


i tink there were many that tot hcjc was boring and the students there were all nerdy and had their noses stuck in books. haha~ if i hear that, i normally laugh at their ignorance and just kept quiet, cos if i do start, i don't know where to begin. in fact, i don't know where to begin now. we made our teachers sing "Zao3 An1 Lao3 Shi1" for every start of the class, our teachers talk to us in chinese, we had stupid and lame magic shows when our maths teacher sensed lethargism in us, we skipped class and ran off to lecture halls with piano to sing, we would be having outings at least once a month (in a WHOLE class)... oh gosh~ there're just so much things to list down la~

then, i decided to join the infamous Huang2 Cheng2 Ye4 Yun4, and miraculously, i managed to get an actor's role. a supporting role tho. er... mmm... it's the role of an old security guard being killed... there were only 4 lines for me, but haha~ it was damn fun working wif so many ppl. 150+ ppl. every day we wud be rehearsing. dinners were always fun with so much ppl altho the packaged food sucked. then, we wud be chased out of the school compound by the security guard when it was nearing the gate-closing time. the 3 months of rehearsing and preparations were full of emotional ups and downs, and these experiences were enough to fill pages of a memoir. when the actual performance came, instead of joy of tinking that the torture was almost over, there was quite an amount of sadness in the atmosphere as we had to put off the wonderful time and start to catch up on our studies.



then, there's band. yup, i still joined band. but band isn't as fun. perhaps it's because i hav my class and my chinese society oredi, that i hadnt had enough energy left for band. it was a place where i could just go to, have fun playing music, and just leave. altho i did make a couple of good frens there, but somehow, the relationships between the people were somehow more superficial. haiz. perhaps i kept having the grudge of them not allowing me to be transferred back to eupho after being in the tuba section for one year.



but then, i decided i wanted to hav a second go at Huang2 Cheng2, so i decided to go for the directorial role the second time round after being damn inspired by my own directors. and the second year was more stressful, with lots of responsibilities and work to do. the welfare of the actors have to be taken care of, the direction of the play had to be clear, the coordination of the backstage crew and the actors, and even the fostering of the bonds between the actors had to be taken note of. luckily my pool of actors (now hav become my god-children and god-grandchildren) were all very happening and very fun (shucks, i kept using the word 'fun' hor?). and i've officially taken up the role of a great-grandfather, caring for everyone working on the play. in the end, the pain of leaving huang cheng was very great. tears were shed on the last day of performance when i knew it was all over, and i could never go back to those days anymore.

at that time, huang cheng was over, but my class was still there for me. even in the second year, our enthusiasm had not decreased. if huang cheng was like a workplace with a lot of friends, 01s21 was like a family and a home which i could go back and relax. it was their passion and friendliness that inspired me to use the infamous poem "Gu3 Yuan2 Cao3" to compose a song that all my jc frens know how to sing now. it was and still is the most emotional song i've ever written to date, and will represent the memories of those days in that school whose name is now part of the history.

on the last day of school, all of us brought our sec school uniform and tried to fit into them, and we had our last formal lessons with our teachers in sec sch uni even tho we were supposed to be in HC uni. haha~ it was damn fun as the whole sch stared at us freaks running around the place, taking pictures with every significant spots in the school, including the tree. it was like reliving all the days we had in hwachong, taking pictures that we once taken before in our sec sch uni during our first 3 months, and it was our way of saying it's not the end, it's just the beginning.



army life. never was and never will be my cup of tea. it was pretty traumatising, esp if u're enlisted during the SARS period. parents were not allowed on the teeny-weeny island and they were forced to say a quick good-bye right outside the gate of the Ferry Terminal. i was taking pledge and doing all those enlistment stuff on my own, and i do not know for whom i was doing it for. i felt totally lost on the 1st of April 2003, yup, the day Zhang Guorong committed suicide, and i felt like the world closed in on me as i slept in the bunk full of strangers (except one, whom i don't really like. he's one of the idiots from my sec 3 & 4 class).

thru-out bmt, i felt i was not cut out for physical activities, and being the blur and clumsy me, i got into many injuries and scars were all over my body. these scars made me feel slightly proud in front of my parents, esp when i could say "i'm totally ok, and i can take care of myself in here." wut else can i say to them sia? 7 days a week and they only get to hav a glimpse of me for less than 24 hours each week. i don't want them to worry as well. it was during this period of time that my mum got herself a major injury: a sprain on her wrist, which had caused much trouble even until now. i was damn worried. so mother and son were both playing the "don't worry" game on each other. haiz.


after i passed out from BMT, i was posted to the SAF bands where i stayed for the rest of my NS life. strong bonds were fostered initially, yet lies, gossips and games were played out later into the army days. living a trivial life really had an impact on us as we survived each day trying to find things to talk abt. and what can we talk abt when we're in a weeny unit with less than 300 (or even barely 200) men in total? so we gossiped, bitched, back-stabbed, played weird mind games. not very enjoyable days.


of cos, there were great ppl that i fostered friendships with, and they were ppl who weren't afraid to speak their mind and tell things. they were ppl real and true to their own dignity and pride, and ironically they were the ppl we as trainees feared initially. then, there were my great pals, kok wee and yanhui there. of cos, alvin, jeremy, anney, ronnie and woei kee jus added on more fun to my life in there. true, after getting used to such slack life, it's not easy to ORD, but at least there weren't bonds that were too good and sweet that i cannot let go. (oh, if u dun understand, nvm. it's a private joke between me and my section mate, and perhaps somebody i've recently met up for movie. *smilez*)

haha~ then, there's ppl like terence, zhiwei, bernard, gerald, paul and so on and so on, that made my life a very interesting and enjoyable one. happy-go-lucky ppl still rules the earth man!

to my junior, kris, stay happy and dun bother abt certain ppl who play rank. heck him, he can't do anything. i've bitched too many times RIGHT IN FRONT of him and yet he didn't and can't do anything. haha~ see u with ur pink i/c soon!


it's time to move on. now i've gotten my pink i/c, and orientation camps for Communication Studies course and Hall are on the way, i'm preparing myself for the next major step in my life. the square hat is waiting for me at the end of this 4-year long course, and the door to my future career is waiting for me at the end of the hallway. embrace yourself are the only words i've been telling myself. yup, to all u ppl out there, don't be afraid of the future, and if u r, then embrace yourself. *smilez*

Johnzzon