This number, a scarily large number isn't it? Shockingly, this is the number that appeared on the tv today, and it's the latest death toll due to the scary tsunami.

i can't digest the news. it's just too scary. and the difference between the reaction of both my parents just got me more confused. my dad just stood in front of the tv like it's just another piece of news concerning theft in one of the neighbourhoods in singapore; my mother, on the other hand, bought a lot of food and blankets, hoping these would help those who survived the tsunami in Sri Lanka.

and this incident had to happen at the end of the year. weird timing. all these things, disasters, epidemic, diseases, they aren't gonna stop, are they?

i keep thinking the end of the world is coming, perhaps due to the fact that some of the clips shown during the news resembles so much to the recent movie "The Day After Tomorrow". no, i'm not making a joke or saying anything insensitive, but what i mean is, should we start caring our very own home planet before anything worse happens?

finally bought "Tuesdays with Morrie" after much procrastination. bought it when i was pretty down last week after my failed driving test. actually finished the book on monday during my HQBO duty. all i could say is, it's a nice way to end the year 2004 in this manner. i've finally become more optimistic and more cheerful. had not been really in a foul mood since that day (hor? alvin~? haha...).

it's weird with all these things around me. and people are behaving like "hey, ppl are suffering in pain, so we shouldn't be really celebrating, or even be happy at all". i dun like that feeling. i mean, ya, i sympathize with all these ppl, i'll do wut ever i can to help them, but that doesn't mean i have to moan over this incident every single second, does it? sorry if it sounds like a lame excuse for me to go out for a countdown. sorry if it sounds hypocritical, especially if u overheard (or heard) my conversation with my frens this morning in the canteen. but, well, i do feel sad at that moment, but we should step out of it and moved on too right? or else, it kind of defeats the purpose of god allowing us to survive, right?

i dun noe la, it's the end of the year syndrome. whenever every year ends, there's always something happening to me, or something happening to the surroundings. *weird*... may 2005 be a better year for all of us. Happy New Year.

preparing-to-go-out-for-countdown,
Johnzzon

 

Suddenly made up my mind finally after 21 years that i should start making new year resolutions (just when ppl stopped making them, yesh i know i know). guess it's because of the fact that next year will mark a significant change in my life (my sincere thanks to the end of my ns life and my unsincere thanks to the start of my uni life). so, finally sat down alone in the bunk last night to write down a list of things that i wish to accomplish next year, some sounds very lame and spastic, but then again, hey, i'm not forcing u to read, dear fellow blog-readers. haha~ *evil grin*

Things I need myself to do:
1) Quit smoking by 15 May.
2) Tidy my room and get my accessories (plus my new comp) in time for uni.
3) Spend more time with Mommy.
4) Control my temper and emotions.
5) Finish my third song book
6) Write at least a song every month.
7) Plan a successful, yet simple 21st birthday party.
8) Control my spenditure.
9) Produce a CD containing important songs for my friends who are leaving S'pore.
10) Get my driving license.

Things I hope I will do:
1) Get a girlfriend.
2) Write "Anytime" for Band A before I ORD.
3) Find a gym and go gym-ing twice a week.
4) Produce my "Army Journal" book.
5) Turn my room into a recording studio.
6) Watch a R(21) movie in a movie theatre.
7) Organise a primary school outing.
8) Keep in contact with all my teachers.
9) Establish myself as a person who will be never late for anything.
10) Become Skyblue's top executive! ;p

oh wells, this list actually took me half an hour to complete. shall look back at this entry in one year's time. promise? promise!

*smilez*,
Johnzzon

 

saw this article on the front page of my blogger's dashboard. found it quite interesting, especially the fact that it's from a "TIME's Person of the Year 2004" article. haha. after reading it, i felt the title should be changed to "10 Things We Ought to Know About Blogs". keke.

10 Things We Learned About Blogs

Blogging Can Get You Fired
When Delta flight attendant Ellen Simonetti, 30—a leggy blond and self-styled "queen of the sky"—began her blog, she thought it would be fun to post pinup snapshots of herself in uniform. Delta wasn't amused and promptly fired her. Undaunted, Simonetti retitled the blog Diary of a Fired Flight Attendant and detailed her legal battle to get her job back.
GO TO: queenofsky.journalspace.com

Bloggers Get Scoops Too
After book editor Russ Kick read that the U.S. military was clamping down on press photos of coffins coming back from Iraq, he didn't just pen an angry rant on his blog, the Memory Hole. He filed a Freedom of Information Act request—and embarrassingly for the Pentagon, was mailed a CD from the Air Force with 361 coffin snaps, which he promptly posted. The national press, which hadn't thought to ask whether the military had pictures, beat a path to Kick's door.
GO TO: thememoryhole.org

Bloggers Keep News Alive
So your blog hasn't succeeded in getting national attention for your pet issue? Don't lose heart. Just blog, link and repeat. It worked for conservative bloggers like Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit, who trumpeted the Swift Boat Veterans for Truth's claims this summer, as well as for liberal blogs like Daily Kos, which investigated evidence that President Bush wore a wire in his first debate. Some of the issues had questionable merit, but persistent bloggers made the subjects tough to ignore. Say it enough times online, and someone is bound to hear you.
GO TO: Instapundit.com, dailykos.com

Bloggers Can Be Titillating
In May a blog graphically detailing the sex life of an anonymous Capitol Hill staff member prompted D.C.'s most intriguing game of guess-the-author since Primary Colors. Jessica Cutler, a.k.a. Washingtonienne, was later outed and fired by her boss, Ohio Republican Mike DeWine, for "inappropriate use of Senate computers." (Her site is not for kids.) In another sign of the times, her first postfiring interview was with Wonkette, another Washington blogger.
GO TO: washingtoniennearchive.blogspot.com, wonkette.com

Bloggers Can Be Fakers
Plain Layne, a highly personal blog supposedly belonging to a Minnesota lesbian named Layne Johnson that drew thousands of fans over 3 1/2 years before mysteriously disappearing, was revealed to be a hoax. Hundreds of fans helped track down the real author, Odin Soli, 35, a male entrepreneur from Woodbury, Minn. Later in the year, fake Bill Clinton and Andy Kaufman blogs became hits.
GO TO: plainlayne.dreamhost.com, billclintondailydiary.blogspot.com

Bloggers Make Money
Earn a living in your pajamas! Online ads (along with Google's automated ad server) allow popular bloggers to go pro. Joshua Micah Marshall of talkingpointsmemo.com, a political blog, says he makes $5,000 a month from banner ads—enough to hire a research assistant.
GO TO: talkingpointsmemo.com

Most Bloggers Are Women
Men may have taken the lead in the early (read: geeky) days of blogging, but that's not the case now. According to a survey of more than 4 million blogs by Perseus Development, 56% were created by women. More bad news for the boys: men are more likely than women to abandon their blog once it's created. Call blogging a 21st century room of one's own.
GO TO: blogsisters.blogspot.com

Candidates Love Blogs
O.K., so Howard Dean never wrote his blog. But his campaign workers posted a surprisingly intimate online diary of life on the road, and Dean had collected $20 million in contributions via the Internet alone by the end of January 2004. It didn't take long for other politicos to catch on. When New York attorney general Eliot Spitzer announced that he was running for Governor this month, he did so on his blog.
GO TO: blog.deanforamerica.com, spitzer2006.com

Pets Have Blogs Too
It started as an in-joke among feline-friendly bloggers: why not post pictures of their cats every Friday afternoon? Friday catblogging became a hit, and soon even NASA was playing along by posting pictures of the Cat's Eye nebula.
GO TO: carnivalofthecats.com

Anyone Can Do It
Blogs wouldn't be such a democratic medium if they weren't so easy to set up. The most popular service, Blogger, owned by Google, boasts features like push-button photoblogging. Microsoft has launched a trial version of its own blogging service.
GO TO: blogger.com, spaces.msn.com

 

Hehe, started to use multiply.com as my photo web now. so peeps, to view my photos, just go to jumbosale.multiply.com.

New Albums:
     Bernard's 21st Birthday Party
     My New Bedroom
     01S21 Christmas Dinner Gathering at Millennia Walk

*smilez*,
Johnzzon

 

It's 6:40am... no... it's 6:41am..! argh, another freaking minute passed. gosh~ i'm actually counting down to the end of my driving test, every single minute of it. now i'm feeling damn stressed, especially since most of my frens passed on first attempt. but, i've got no confidence! ok la, not absolutely zip, but quite little to hang on to, to hope that i'd passed.

supposed to get to bukit batok driving centre by 8:25am for my warm-up, and it would take me a minimum of 45 minutes to get there. so, i shall leave home at *calculating* 7:40am latest. OH MY! that's one hour from now. urgh~

ok ok, in this one hour, i'm gonna consolidate ALL my mistakes and hope i don't make any of them later. HOPE. such an important thing. but frens around me have been encouraging me and giving me boost, all thanks to ya eh? thanks to youwei for the special sms posted just now at 5:50am, thanks to yanhui for the nice nice postcard you gave me last night (yup, i'll definitely hope i can drive u peeps around, provided my dad gets me a car, ANY KIND of car... haha), thanks to weiji for all the encouragement you gave me ever since i started taking lessons, thanks to alvin, kel for their support, cos a simple "good luck" can give me a lot of confidence boost already!

ok, now, one hour (no! it's 52 minutes! 6:48am liao!!), my mistakes i've made (gosh, i almost made a whole stack of books and files drop as i reach for my training record book):

MOVING OFF:
  1) Set gear to gear 1.
  2) Check for safety, look at the rear view mirror for vehicles if at a junction.

INSIDE CIRCUIT:
  1) Try to move up to gear 2, ie travel faster. Don't drag the gear.
  2) Slow down when turning. Signal too!
  3) Check for blind spot when turning, even if common sense says there couldn't possibly be anyone there.
  4) STOP AT STOP LINE! gosh~ when will i ever take note of this?
  5) Lane discipline, remember to turn into the correct lane, especially near the T-junction near the exit of the course.

NARROW COURSE:
  1) Slow speed slow speed! slow and steady will help.
  2) Remember my turning points!!

PARKING:
  1) During the final reversing movement, remember to check the rear.
  2) Vertical parking -> near to centre line / Parallel parking -> centre of lane.
  3) If there's another vehicle parking in adjacent lane, wait for it to pass the centre line before proceeding.

SLOPE/GRADIENT:
  1) Remember to signal before moving off.
  2) DON'T RELEASE CLUTCH! what the hell did i do that for during the past two lessons??

ON THE ROAD:
  1) Brake early!!
  2) Change lane once the person says things like "Turn right" or "U-turn".
  3) React to pedestrians and cyclist. Slowing down and signalling are forms of "reactions".
  4) Don't drag gear! Move as fast as possible.
  5) Overtake buses especially if they haven't stopped for a long time already.
  6) If in 4th gear, remember to change down to 3rd gear before stopping!!
  7) Check blind spots!! 4 points leh...
  8) Turning -> 2nd gear!!
  9) Check blind spots before entering filter lanes.
  10) Give way to traffic I) on the right II) if i'm in minor road and the other car is in major road.
  11) Don't need to give way to vehicles turning out from minor road if i'm on a major road and turning into it. But do be careful.

TECK WHYE ROUTE:
  1) Don't change lane at the bends.
  2) Don't cross the double white lines, unless there's permanent obstruction.
  3) Don't stop on the zebra-crossing at the filter lane near the mosque!
  4)

BUKIT BATOK ROUTE:
  1) Try to move at 3rd gear.
  2) Remember to change down to 2nd gear near humps.
  3)

70KM/H ROAD:
  1) Lane change fast!
  2) Try to move at at least 60km/h.
  3) Slow down at junctions.
  4) Remember to shift down to 3rd gear when going down slope or nearing a potentially-stoppable junction.

urgh~ terrible, i can't really remember my mistakes too. brain-cramp. hopefully everything's smooth and good later. hopefully i can remember what to do!! shall print out the list and bring wif me to BBDC later. it's 7:08am, 32 mins more to leaving the house. perhaps i'll leave soon, den can reach there earlier and have teh or something. *stressed* will i pass?!?!

*heart-beat*...*heart-beat*...*heart-beat*...,
Johnzzon

 

Yoz peeps,

Are you
1) a female?
2) not bad at singing?
3) a friend who can't bare to see me in such a helpless and desperate state right now?

please please please, i really need someone to help me sing my demos, especially now that a lot of female singers are actualli requesting songs. please help me cause i need a female singer to sing my demos VERY SOON or else i'll just miss the deadline and *poof* there may go the only chance these songs may get to have. please please, contact me as soon as possible?

the songs aren't very difficult to sing, and after the recording of the song, you wouldn't need to expose your identity or anything to anyone else besides me and my lao3 ban3. please please please, i really need the help!! wo3 xu1 yao4~~~~~~

begging-please,
Johnzzon

 

had been having talks wif my frens nowadays, and sometimes because of my narrating, i actually splurge out point of views which had never occurred in my mind before.

one such example. i actually mentioned that a fren thinks he's very matured thinking and so does not allow other ppl's ideas or points of view into his life. i wanted to find a reason, and i actually said this. "perhaps neighbourhood jc students think they're more matured thinking than those top-five jc students, cos they might have the idea that they have gone thru more failures in life than them." i never thought abt this before, and this idea has since intrigued me. is it true? is that wut most ppl think? i hate to think of it that way, cos i'm sure i've experienced quite a deal which many ppl have yet to go thru at this point of time (argh, dun really want to dwell in that area).

things seem to have taken a slight turn towards a brighter side, but i have this feeling we're just acting. hopefully everything will resolve itself.

looking forward to new beginnings, cos it's a new year. perhaps it's a chance to dig out the past and place it in front of me, and question myself how true to myself and to my friends am i. sure, there are things that happened one year ago that still bugged me till now, but has the situation become better or worse?

always look on the brighter side of life. easily said, yet hard to be done. how many times do we actually scrutinize things rather than look at it's more beautiful side? nothing's ever perfect in the world, i've come to realise.

met shengyong on the way home today, really glad that we can still chat wif each other despite leading two very different lifes now. but, we both agree, perhaps these two and a half years are not totally wasted despite us complaining almost every single day how meaningless these years have been. i've finally found time to do stuff that i've always complained i never had the time to do, and shengyong has finally found the true meaning behind the term 'slacking'. haha. perhaps it's nice to stop and having a breather once in a while.

sis gave me my birthday present half a year in advance - "The Chronicles of Narnia", the series of books which i hoped my frens will get for me for b-day this year but apparently nobody got the hint. haha~ lots of thanks to my sis for getting me this series of books (all 7!!)!!

my room is finally in order, altho i found it much more packed than before due to the new and wide L-shaped desks. guess i'll get used to it.

a new year, perhaps a new list of resolutions awaits?

contemplating,
Johnzzon

 

 

这个世界突然之间变得好虚伪、好恐怖。事实变成了谎言，坚持变成了破灭。一直以来，我都在欺骗我自己，给自己一个希望，让自己永远等待下去。结果呢？两个人，不是一个，而是两个，在一个礼拜内，证明了“等待”是没有结果的。

我好累。好像刚刚跑完了十里路似的。结果，我感觉到自己几乎能被风吹走的躯体更加的轻盈。对不起，这对我来说，根本就不是件好事。我感觉到心灵十分的空虚，不知道该怎么继续下去，因为根本就没有人错。要说错，只能怪自己为何当初那么傻，为自己编了两个谎言。

人物甲。考试完了。今年，对你自己最重要的东西终于完了。我自以为在这半年的等待和努力会有结果。但到头来，你心头上只有两个选择：回到他身边，不然跟自己已喜欢上的对象开始另一段故事。一句“一个比我年轻的对象”显然指的不是我。你一晚的哭诉，我只能把眼泪索性吞下。

人物乙。应该快九个月了吧。你当初怎么拒绝我，我还记得非常清楚。“你应该知道我为什么不能接受你吧。但我还是感到很荣幸。”你含着笑对我说，我也含着笑接受了。九个月的挣扎，到了最近，一个朋友很突然的问了我：“你对她还有意思吧？”九个月了，我一直都在自我回避这个问题，现在却由另一人的嘴而出，甚不是滋味。我不知怎么回答，因为我不要回答。但我却发现你违背了你当初不接受我的理由，喜欢上了他。起先只是友人中的谣言，但后来铁证如山的证据却冲着我来。我到现在还不肯相信。对，我不愿意去相信。友人一谈起你和他，我脸立刻黑。黑，因为我不想再听关于你的事情；黑，因为他们一直都在尝试从我这里挖出事实；黑，因为我不知道怎么对着那么多证据，为你而辩护。我好痛苦。我好想干脆问你是否是故意要让每个人知道你的身份。

我应该开心的。这一个月来也有发生一些让我好开心的事情。我那堆积如山的照片，足以证明这一点。但我的心情却只是像这一篇blog一样，充满着黑黑恶心的字，没有任何彩色、没有任何推动力。我浪费了六个月，我逃避了九个月，最终得到了什么。

我好想哭。

“你对她还有意思吧？”
你要我怎么回答？

 

yoz, peeps.

My music publishing company "Skyblue Music" is collaborating with South East Community Development Council to put up a performance, titled "Youth Expression at South East".

The details:
Date: 11 Dec 2004 (Sat)
Time: 4-6pm
Venue: Parkway Parade, open square near Watsons

i'll be performing two of my own songs. i hoped u all can come and support me k? (argh, beldin wants me to zi4 tan2 zi4 chang4 for at least one song...) try and squeeze time out k? thanks thanks!!

*all-excited*,
Johnzzon