Life goes on as usual, living in my double-storey flat in Bukit Panjang and going to my (national service) workplace at Nee Soon Camp as a bandsman of the SAF Band. sure, there were a few things happening every now and then, but nothin' much to excite me tho. those events were sort of like *poof* it happened and *poof* i forgot.

occasionally i wud come online to chat wif my online frens (cos they were always so weirdly interested in my boring life), and they wud ask me the usual cliche question "so how's your day?" i wud normally jus go "nothin' much... still the same days i guess..." (note the abundant use of "...") and i wud pause for a while b4 i go "den again... *blah blah blah*...) (note the abundant use of "..." once again). pretty scary how i tend to forget details of my days. guess it's the reason why i don't blog so often anymore. perhaps it's due to the reason that i might find myself writing the same old things over and over again. haha~

so, wut happened to me for this past one week. let me try very hard to recap the basic events.

*At Work (ie, NS)*

oh wells, outside frens of mine will know i like to refer to my NS life as work. "heys, i need to go work tomolo one leh~" "oei, u tink i dun need to work one issit?" "i hate my work recently~" ya ya, all the deh deh stuff i wud do.

went back to Pulau Tekong once again recently for the ASLC graduation parade: once on friday morning for the rehearsal and once yesterday morning for the actual parade. i tink i've gotten too used to all the long parades that i actually felt this parade was rather easy. saw Aw Songyu, he's one of the graduates. pretty weird to see him since we havent seen each other for like *count* 4 years? haha. Jianming and Monkey How Zhiyuan was there too. Still the same old word: "weird".

*Career*

got an sms three nights ago from Music Express 10 asking for my email address. as i read further, i realised it was the sms i've been waiting for for the past 8 years. this company is going to offer me a song-writing contract. woah~ *cheer* i was pretty shocked when i first received this sms, and a lot of things were going thru my mind and i was freaking out for a moment there (i tot it was a dream, and i was scared to wake up). but then i realised, i din wan to sign to this company. it wasn't what i want now as a priorty. i'm under the guidance of another local composer and i'm wishing to sign on to his publishing company instead. *argh* it's like, i'm trying to get to this destination of mine, and now there are two trains leaving for that destination. the first one is leaving soon, but i dun noe how's the condition of the train. the second one is leaving later, but i dun noe when, but i know most of the details of the package. it's just the uneasy feeling when u're going to purposely miss the first train.

i'm an impatient person, but i cannot let my impatience take over me this time round.

*Love*

for one week, i've been having a hearty chat wif my online fren Kel. the prob is, whenever i got online, it was always my depression period of time of the night (circa 11pm to 1am). and he's been trying very hard to dig out my love life. in the end, he successfully churned out quite a lot of information from me and allowed me to recall all the sad details of my love life.

and he said "it's been four years, why hadn't u give up on her yet?"

i was quite shocked. i din know how to say. cos i always tot i've successfully left her out in my life. but after wut he said, i realised i din. luckily i managed to hold back all the emotions and laughed about it.

but i tink i cudnt do it forever.

i always teared last night when my frens were talking abt love and relationships. i dun tink i can do this any longer. if only i have a spouse now... sighz...

*Friends*

luckily, i guess, i still hav very good frens around me, who are always there. i'm still allowing myself to be dependent on my frens, and i'm jus happily enjoying their accompaniment. i'm very happy to be meeting them every now and then for activities that we enjoyed.

is friendship important part of my life? i can confidently say yes. *smilez* oh wells, such cliche endings. haha. but i love all of ya~ *hugz*

muahaha~,
Johnzzon