Have I Chosen To Stay In Darkness?

ok la, not really a week since the prev "Week Updated" entry, but den, can't feel like i'm trying to push time ahead.

~ Monday 21/03/2005 ~
yea, like i said in the prev entry, i ffi-ed.

~ Tuesday 22/03/2005 ~
i tink my memory's failing me. *let me think* we fell in at 8am, in pt-attire i remember. oh, den after a very spastic attempt by my superiors to motivate us to run, i got myself in the library photocopying conductor scores for some of the songs i liked and i wished i had for reference sake. Scores photocopied: Balkanya and The Pink Panther (arr by Johan de Meij).

in the afternn, we started practising for a display (which isn't much like a display). felt like i'm back in my chinese high days, waiting aimlessly for the organisers to sort out our steps and everything, but i felt pretty experienced in this area (display and drills). as usual, got pissed off totally when STAFF SERGEANT zakaria happily volunteered himself out of the thing.

~ Wednesday 23/03/2005 ~
had another attempt at the display. we jus kept repeating the same thing over and over again. felt very pek chek. my mood was further disturbed by zakaria's attempt to show his authority over us. urgh.

anney's hp got stolen. curse the blardy person. tink thieves are the most selfish and inconsiderate people in the world, tinkin that the world owes them and they deserve to take ppl's items. i mean, HULLO~ it's not like we're all rich and you're the only poor person ok?

i stupidly wished the thief would be stupid enuf to be caught, but obviously after all the spot-checks (which wasn't spot enuf) and the stand-by-beds, he wasn't caught.

aren't there any ways we can nab him?

~ Thursday 24/03/2005 ~
today's parade at the istana was my last parade there. Presentation of Credentials. tink the person was frm panama if i'm not wrong. waited hell of a time for her arrival. yup, her. after she stepped out of the car, practically every guy in the parade was steaming. her assets were darn huge! giggles were heard from the band, the provost ppl were fidgeting, and even the parade commander stammered at his commands. KOK WEE WAS TOTALLY AWAKE THRUOUT THE PARADE! now that's a record.

after we reached back in camp, had another go at the display. this time round, everything was changed to a more casual and relaxing way of coming in. felt very different. anyway, had fun tonguing all the notes in my favourite Olympic Fanfare and Theme. haha, such show-off-ness. couldn't help it la, had been practising this song ever since secondary 3 wor~ keke.

zakaria seemed to be my main target of complains recently. today, he totally pissed me off and i had to storm out of the studio midway thru practice. even staff roomaizan and maswan didn't stop me. totally pissed me off. "play with more sensitivity"????? wah, how i wished i got the guts to blare back "hullo, staff? den can u play with more CORRECT NOTES AND RHYTHM?" fark him.

~ side track ~
got back home today feeling a pain in my headache. don't know if it was due to the heat, due to the withdrawal symptoms or due to zakaria. anyway, my dad came up to me while i was turning on my modems in the study.

eh, how about Lancer?

(gosh, here we go again.) oh, er... how much is it?
(it better not be $20k and above. if it's $18k, still no way. if it's $16k...)

$12k

*blink* *silent* $12k?

yup, $12k lor

*gasp* really?

i'm going to see it next monday

I WANT TO GO!

so, yup, ppl. *pray hard*

~ other things ~
tink i hadn't really been in the correct state of mind. really wished i was really on the verge of clearing leave. actually i am, but somehow i wish it would be sooner.

things are not going the way they're supposed to be. i don't even know wut i really want now. i was complaining about being lonely and everything, but am i really lonely or have i chosen to be lonely all along? someone jus asked me to get into a relationship, and i rejected it. Why? i can't answer. perhaps i'm still waiting for some people.

am i just being paranoid or something?

*headache continues*,
Johnzzon