Stayed in very frequently for the past one week, and through this one week, i had been allowing my mind to settle down on things i've been trying to avoid, mostly matters that i did not want my mood to be influenced by. friendship matters, career matters, etc.

Had been talking to a lot of ppl i normally do not really talk to, even those that were condemned by some of my bunkmates. it felt different talking to them, like all of a sudden, the reasons why i disliked them weren't really there anymore. pretty interesting, 'cause i have never known myself as such an open person. (some close friends wud hear the statement "i can forgive, but i would not forget" from me quite often.)

but sometimes, i can't help but feel quite lost and weird, especially to the fact that i seem to be hanging out wif band b guys quite often nowadays, like i feel more comfortable and at ease with them. yanhui, yongxiang, pee, glenn, aloysius, soon wei, alec, zhengguo, and the ord-ed zhenqiang are the ppl that i wud greet so sincerely everytime i see them.

when did this happen?

if it was just the combined concert, i most prob will only know aloysius and soon wei better 'cause they played the euphonium too.

if it was just because of yanhui and anneson, i wudnt really be feeling so good around these band b ppl oso. (i'll just feel like an awkward outsider and intruder)

perhaps it was practice room number 18. for most ppl i know from band b.

when my conceptual orgasm comes along, i wud always get myself practice room 18 and allow my mind to work to its full max in the little room with a piano inside. pencil scribbles, erasing noises will be the interlude music to the ever repeating riffs and melodies i wud play on the piano.

during this time, band a ppl dun like to stay around me. till this date, i've yet to find out why. perhaps they tink i was trying to show off or something; perhaps they tink they shudnt disturb me; perhaps they tink i might get angry. wutever.

but whenever i am in room 18, ppl from band b will pop by and jus stay there and listen, helping me out whenever i go crazy and scream my lungs out. zhenqiang, soon wei, yongxiang used to be the ppl there. recently the band b personnels that got themselves into my room 18 visitor list includes alec and zhengguo. interesting how friendships are just started like that.

it felt good to be able to make friends wif ppl jus like that, it's like a no-stress environment, and ppl jus come and go. the movie 2046 suddenly comes to mind, but this is quite a bit out of point. nevertheless, i guess i truly treasure this kind of feeling, and may the feeling of happiness stay wif me all the way till i ord.

had-been-tinking-a-lot,
Johnzzon