8th September 2004 The date that will be etched into my mind forever. I am now beginning to live the dream that i've wished to hav for the past 8 years. a lot of ppl are happy for me, i am happy too~ especially thrilled. but still, like i say, it's jus a beginning. it may turn out into a nightmare... haha... yea yea, i know it will turn out to be a very nice dream too~ ;)

perhaps hard work and persistence really do pay off. after joining like *count... count again... urgh... give up* countless song-writing competitions, i tot nothing's gonna work out. in the end, i was like "so wut if one day i do win a competition? wut will happen? is someone really gonna be giving me a contract after that?" i became to feel despair and everything, and i started taking up habits i forbade myself to start (close frens will know wut).

anyway, after the failed attempt at the xin qing rong ji competition (a well-established local song-writing competition), someone from the organising committee actualli added me to this online Yahoo! Groups called lunasea-songwriting. out of curiosity and the feeling of learning something related to song-writing, i decided to join it. to my disappointment, the group was idle all the time. (did i mention all the time?)

i gave up. i wanted to jus stop writing. but oh wells, my guts kept asking me to go on. so i did another song, and it turned out to be so alternative that i deemed it unacceptable by mass media. in fact, it was an arabic tune. interestingly, i managed to garner a good comment from my most critical critic Kok Wee. haha. so out of pure fun, i sent this song to the only song-writing competition then: Music Express 10. that was in April.

one month later, results were back. i din even pass the 1st screening. haha~ nevermind, i din really think the organisers wud wan some Egyptian tunes anyway. i laughed out loud and forget abt it.

weeks later, somebody invited me to join this Yahoo! Group *again* call Skyblue Songwriting Guild. oh wells, with the same reasons, i joined the group. this time round, the group is more active. apparently, the moderator in the group kept organising outings which not much ppl seem to be turning up. he organised a couple of ktv outings and one music workshop. music workshop? hmm... interestingly... is it free? OH~ it's free?! oh wow, hmm... i wonder wut they talk abt during the workshop. oh gosh~ i juz missed the first one? shucks... so, i juz busied myself in the forum by taking parts in the polls (which contains questions that sometimes have nothing to do wif music). haha~

Skyblue's 2nd Music Workshop. i decided to take part. and i emailed the moderator Skyblue three of my songs to take part in the workshop. i also managed to pull Soon Wei and Zhenqiang wif me, juz in case anyone tried to kidnap me or something. in this workshop, i was introduced to a group of songwriters, including the moderator of the Yahoo! group Skyblue, who is a local songwriter in Singapore who has sold 4 songs to date (3 songs at the point of time of the 2nd workshop). i was pretty honoured to be meeting these ppl. i learned hell lots of things during the workshop. i learned abt the tricks and trades of being a songwriter in asia, how the whole publishing thing work, how to get works published and sold, etc etc. i even learned that my arranging skills are actualli better than my songwriting skills. haha~ i oso tot it was the other way round. after the workshop, i befriended a lot of ppl. Don, Kerwin, Nicole, Kokguan, Linchin, and including Skyblue, whose real name is Beldin.

Somewhere between the 2nd and 3rd workshop, don and kerwin were interested in how i do my midi arrangement and visited my house. i was feeling pretty honoured, like ppl actualli idol me for my skills. haha~ i feel good honestly. they were quite impressed, but were disappointed when they found out there's gotta be a hell lot of difficulties for them to pick up the softwares i've been using. (i've been using them for 8 yrs, obviously i'm very comfortable with my softwares... haha... a bit of BHB there... keke) anyway, i decided to tag along since the two of them wanted to go to Beldin's place after leaving my place. This is my second time meeting Beldin and i managed to see how he works. wow~ it is VERY impressive. his computer has all the things that was needed and his demos are very good quality ones even tho he took onli like 30 mins. gosh~ *faints*

3rd workshop. i reached the venue (a chalet this time round) pretty early and there was only Beldin there. went shopping for tidbits and everything wif him and we kept making lame comments to each other. tink i'm beginning to warm up to him. he's a real nice guy who really wanted me to treat him as a fren. thruout the whole workshop, he kept making sarcastic remarks abt me. but i only take that as he feel comfortable being frens with me. i feel good actualli. but something expected came after that. he offered me a contract after listening to the fast song i sent for the 3rd workshop. i never expected that. i was very happy, yet feeling really confused and worried at the same time.

for 8 years, i've been waiting for a contract. none. so i told myself, guess this really isnt my cup of tea. now that i've joined Beldin's songwriting guild, i was expecting to learn under him and go thru his courses and lessons b4 i cud officially get his offer of a contract. the time frame i gave myself was up to 4 to 6 years. i din expect this month. i din expect it at all. it was all turning out to be too well, and well, superstituous side of me seemed to be telling me something's bad is abt to happen.

still, i wanted to sign it. so, i kept bothering Beldin and found out more abt the contract. den i got the contract in my hands before i knew it, and i signed it and got my mum to endorse it as well. did it sound fast? cos it felt that fast. it all happened in a week. everything i hoped for for the past 8 years happened in jus a short span of a week! gosh~

now, Beldin sent my fast song over to taiwan, hoping either Tanya or Stefanie wud sing the song. den we're working on my Arabic tune cos Stefanie wanted a yi4 guo2 feng1 qing2 song, so we're hoping this song might work out too. er... if u're wondering why 'we', Beldin is helping me re-record the vocals cos he hoped that this song cud be sold. oh gosh~ i so owe him much!

during the past few days, i'm in close contact with Beldin, with him teaching me his way of arranging and me showing him my way of doing things. it's like two different wuxia triads exchanging tips. it's so enriching and so fulfilling~ and it doesn't bother me a single bit to be talking to him abt anything under the sun. (he was always the one who's starting the lame X35 jokes... urgh)

it was the best i ever hoped for. i am now signed under a music publishing company whose head is now a very good fren of mine who gives me advice not only on songwriting but oso ways to being an adult too. am i afraid to step into the adult world? less afraid i wud say. not trying to be acting gay* or something, but i really feel like singing out loud a particular song "Don't Rain on My Parade": Hey~ World~ Here I Am~~~~~

8th September 2004's the day i submitted my signed contract containing my signature, my mum's signature and Beldin's signature.

life's-candy-and-the-sun's-a-ball-of-butter,
Johnzzon

P.S. hopefully i dun sound egoistic in this blog. juz hope that i hope to write such memorable things down in my blog. so sorry if i like make anyone depressed or something. cos i wanna make it clear that everything happened like so unplanned for. things do happen, it's jus if it's earlier or later. for all the ppl who is reading this blog: live your dream courageously, and dun give up on it. hope i become an inspiration to many. :)

P.S.II. * If u din watch "Connie and Carla", they sang this song in a gay bar. so i tot this song sounded quite gay to me after that show. (Even tho it's like one of my fav songs of all time~)