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Saturday, June 12, 2004
Why are ppl leaving this world without saying a simple goodbye?
I'm not blaming them. Perhaps they would just like us to remember them in their better states. They may not want us to grief their painful moments, or cry when we feel helpless just standing beside their weak bodies.
Two people whom i know of passed away recently. First, it was my so-called uncle who came to live with us quite often when I was young. He was the first person who brought me to orchard to shop. He was like my big brother. He passed away the beginning of the week due to heart attack. Second, it was my secondary one chinese teacher who taught me briefly for a while. i was very close to him because i became his computer teacher and went his house to teach him computer and stuff. even tho i wud still call him "he2 lao3 shi1" out of respect, our relationship became more as a friendship than a teacher-student relationship. he passed away two days ago due to cancer.
i don't know how to react. perhaps i don't want to react, perhaps i don't want to cry. i know i left these people memories, good memories, memories that can make them smile as they rest peacefully. but i can't help but feel a twitch in my heart when they didn't hav much memories for me. perhaps it's selfish on my part to think this way, but i really really don't want to forget abt them as time goes by.
i've almost forgotten abt adrian. i don't want to forget abt these two people.
it is god's will to hav us face death so early in our days? it is His way of preparing us for more significant deaths that will have more impact on our lives?
when it was adrian, i cud only grief over the fact that i din spend as much time with him as a fren. i cud only grief over the fact that i wasn't there when he needed me but he was there when i needed him.
i feel terrible recalling all these people in my mind. i'm just afraid i'll lose the memories of them as time goes by, which i do not want to. i'm also very vexed by the fact that i'm learning their deaths thru a third person who does not really care abt their deaths.
i wud not write a tribute for them, for i tink i wud not do a good job. they were people of good will and good character, and for that, i hope to remember them always this way in my heart.
goodbye, 阿威哥哥 and 何忠良老师.
Yours sincerely,
Johnzzon
I'm not blaming them. Perhaps they would just like us to remember them in their better states. They may not want us to grief their painful moments, or cry when we feel helpless just standing beside their weak bodies.
Two people whom i know of passed away recently. First, it was my so-called uncle who came to live with us quite often when I was young. He was the first person who brought me to orchard to shop. He was like my big brother. He passed away the beginning of the week due to heart attack. Second, it was my secondary one chinese teacher who taught me briefly for a while. i was very close to him because i became his computer teacher and went his house to teach him computer and stuff. even tho i wud still call him "he2 lao3 shi1" out of respect, our relationship became more as a friendship than a teacher-student relationship. he passed away two days ago due to cancer.
i don't know how to react. perhaps i don't want to react, perhaps i don't want to cry. i know i left these people memories, good memories, memories that can make them smile as they rest peacefully. but i can't help but feel a twitch in my heart when they didn't hav much memories for me. perhaps it's selfish on my part to think this way, but i really really don't want to forget abt them as time goes by.
i've almost forgotten abt adrian. i don't want to forget abt these two people.
it is god's will to hav us face death so early in our days? it is His way of preparing us for more significant deaths that will have more impact on our lives?
when it was adrian, i cud only grief over the fact that i din spend as much time with him as a fren. i cud only grief over the fact that i wasn't there when he needed me but he was there when i needed him.
i feel terrible recalling all these people in my mind. i'm just afraid i'll lose the memories of them as time goes by, which i do not want to. i'm also very vexed by the fact that i'm learning their deaths thru a third person who does not really care abt their deaths.
i wud not write a tribute for them, for i tink i wud not do a good job. they were people of good will and good character, and for that, i hope to remember them always this way in my heart.
goodbye, 阿威哥哥 and 何忠良老师.
Yours sincerely,
Johnzzon
